DOES LIFE HAVE PURPOSE?

My hairdresser moved. Not far. But the route which I once had on autopilot I now have to think about. I now have to think highway or “low” way? When I WAZE it, I am directed  to take the highway. However, I think I happen to prefer the non highway way…It’s been a few months now, and I think I  got it, and now I am able to look around as I drive, instead of just following the directions.

Yesterday on my way, I saw a church with a bunch of little signs in their yard…much like political signs. I read them aloud as I drove by, and I wish I could recall any of them but this one….

DOES LIFE HAVE A PURPOSE?

WHAT? 

Not even does YOUR life have a purpose….just a general statement meant for all lives. Are you kidding me? How depressing to think about.

As that was rolling through my head I saw 2 ladies on their fast exercise walk talking and crossing the street. I thought to myself, how fun and cute they are….but, do THEIR lives have purpose? Does the driver in front of me have purpose? Do I?  If my life does have purpose, what the,#@$! is it? 

Have to admit, my brain went spiraling downward….unless we are doing something truly life altering, super large and meaningful, do our lives have purpose? I mean, Einstein. Sure. Michael Franti making and playing good music that supports a higher positive connection between people. Sure. The director of a homeless shelter. Sure. 

But, me…a mom…just going to work and cleaning the house? What really is my purpose?  Um. if that doesn’t depress you, I am not sure what will. 

So, before I break open a bottle of PROSECO and sit in the corner rocking back and forth, feeling sorry for my lack of purpose, let’s discuss this….

Do you ever question your purpose? I guess I do, but never in such a REALLY BIG and global way. Seeing that sign, really set me back…in a sad and futile sort of way…my brain immediately went to thinking about all my lists of things that I want to accomplish/have accomplished. But, let’s be honest achieving a list of to do’s, even if they are to make me a more interesting/better person,  do not give my life purpose. 

What gives my life purpose? And, what do I need to work on, or do I need to work on anything to bring me more purpose?

Maybe this is a cop out. Is this a cop out????? I think my purpose in life is to help others find and achieve THEIR purpose. Here is what I mean. 

I lead by example a clean/healthy/loving/supportive/kind life and help my people want and do the same. I work towards helping those around me to be the best versions of themselves that they can achieve. 

UGH…this is all 1,000,000% true, but does this just make me expendable and a voyeur in life? I hope not. Is my purpose just really someone else’s purpose? Did I miss my chance to act out on my purpose?

So, the struggle is, now that my people are starting to strike out on their own, I want to continue along my path, but maybe it is time to return to finding a ME life purpose that is directly related to me and my legacy?

I used to make make fundraising classes. I organized a clothing drive for those in NY and NJ after the Hurricane. I made a fundraiser party that went to a scholarship fund for a young mom that passed away. I organized really large neighbors helping neighbors events at the holidays….but, now what? Legit. Now WHAT?

But, legit…how do I have time in the day? Work, keep house, offer healthy meals, work out, write my blog, attend to my own self care (hair, waxing, dr’s…), gardening….I realize this is my general malaise so, please be kind and bear with me. I might roll this over several more times aloud…Cuz, while all of that IS going on, I am not really that busy.

ACCCKKK!!! What is your purpose? Do you have a stated and specific purpose? Are you clear on it? Do you follow through? How do you find time in the day? What do you find you frequently have to let go of? 

That being said, on sort of another note, I have discovered, or shall I say RE-discovered, what I am going to put my energies toward as far as a hobby!!!! Piano lessons!

I was taking piano in Burlington, with a teacher that I adored, and then along came ZUMBA fitness. I had to decide if my free time was dedicated to learning routines and teaching classes which made a few dollars, or paying for lessons. I chose teaching. For now, I am going to do online piano classes, as my schedule is still really wonky, but I am sort of excited! 

So, while piano lessons are not my purpose, they are on my to do list, and today, today, this gives me purpose!

mad love all! mad, mad love!