Resiliency

I have a new french press at the farm. And I love it, despite not wanting to. 

A few years ago I purchased a glass French press at TJMaxx for the farm. It served us well. But, just a few days ago while here, I noticed there was a serious crack in the glass. And, knowing that Amazon Prime does not get anything to the farm overnight, and knowing I am a BEAR without my coffee, I headed back to TJ. I was 100% not into it. I did not want to spend any dollars as I am trying to be credit card debt free. I also know I have some big expenses coming up, so I was pre disposed to hate any new french press.

I ran in. Blinders on so as to not see anything else I might suddenly “need”, and went straight to the housewares section. I saw another glass press, and almost left with it, But then…. then my eye caught this beauty. A stainless, double walled insulated, matte black/gray handsome devil. And standing here tea kettle whistling on day 2 of my newest purchase, I smiled. I was internally thankful that my old one bit the dust. This beauty is a true gem that puts a smile on my face even before drinking my coffee!

Why am I telling you all of this? Because the takeaway is sometimes what we might think is a burden or a negative, or frustrating, or useless, or not worth our while, can at the end of the day, be a great and wonderful gift.

As I was contemplating the joy of unexpected gifts, and cleaning the kitchen, emptying the refrigerator, as we were packing up to head back to the city, when our plumbing began to have issues. And, to cut out all the nitty gritty/“Shitty” details, it soon became clear that I wasn’t going to be able to get a work out in, nor take a shower before getting on our 7 hour drive back to Chicagoland….If you know me, then you know that my coffee/shower routine is sacred for a successful and productive day. 

My brain, much like a light switch instantly flipped from on to off. Positive to negative. I started to brainstorm all of my options. Call my neighbor friend and ask to shower there. Stop at a hotel and shower on the road. Sponge bath with bottled water. WHAT. WHAT was I going to do? Instead of focusing on the gloriousness of the mysterious gifts of life I instantly began spiraling downward. I began questioning how I could possibly manage to get through the day without a shower. How was I going to function? How stinky all of this was…..(I don’t understand when people tell me they haven’t showered in days, or washed their hair, or changed their clothes. So not my jam.) A shower clears my head, especially these days with inflammation, helps me step out on the right foot. So, negativity invaded, highjacked if you will, all of my positive thoughts. I always allow myself a few minutes to process the negative, as it is human nature to feel sad, mad, depressed. As long as I do not dwell in that place, all is cool. Sometimes, in moments such as these, I really have to work to turn the switch and at other times, like this day it just flips right back to the stable way I prefer to think…the positive,  happy way I prefer to live. And just like that,  I recalled the TIK TOK I saw just that morning of a little Ukrainian girl, about 6 years old, with her mother in a bomb shelter filled with people and a crying baby when she sang with a sweet and pure voice a song from “Frozen”. The whole shelter got quiet, even the crying baby stopped crying as she sang. The people of Ukraine….resilient. Those families in that bomb shelter…resilient.

We are resilient. As individuals. As a people. We can handle so much. And, the few things that I was internally complaining about are so NOTHING. That I have my health. All my people have their health. We are not being bombed. I was able to go to a store and purchase a new coffee press. And, that we are able to have the plumbing examined before we return. 

Redirecting our frustrations, our negative energy, our anger towards the world is the way for us to be resilient. Right? Living and appreciating and enjoying the small moments allow us to be resilient. 

The world really does feel pretty mucky these days. Just when the mask mandate is finally lifted, and we want to start to travel again…gas prices are out of sight, there is a war in Ukraine. We are divided and hateful and spiteful, and it is so easy to spiral downward. 

Being resilient isn’t just when we have the minor inconvenience of having temporary water problems in our house , it is when our families are divided over politics, it is when our businesses have yet to return to a place of normalcy, when we have those days/weeks/months or dare I even say it, years that try our last nerve. It is having lived these past few years, and grieving those who did not. It’s when we have money troubles, health concerns, relationship issues.

Complaining, hating people and spiraling downward will only hurt us. So, it is up to us to be resilient. To be the light. To share the light and to to try and understand the world from our neighbor’s perspective. We must let go of the negative.We must reframe the words that somehow burrow their way into our minds. We must focus on what we do have, and not what we feel is missing. To dig deep and find the lesson from the pain.

Trust me. I am able to easily and quickly fall down the abyss of the proverbial rabbit hole. You know the hole I am talking about. When you feel frustrated that gas prices are out of the stratosphere, and then you feel sorry for yourself for not wanting to spend the money to take a driving vacation, and then you find yourself feeling blue that now that you are empty nesters you were supposed to be jaunting off to Europe, but with gas prices and a war, that isn’t going to happen. And then you begin to wonder if the world will ever even resemble anything that we are familiar with. And you begin to worry about the future for your kids. And then…well then…… you realize you are crying while walking the dog in the middle of the day in your neighborhood.

So, I have now given myself permission to wallow for a bit. I allow myself to feel the anxiety of the world and to feel sorry for myself and for everyone. And then I begin the reframing. (I don’t have to give myself a time limit for wallowing because I hate the feeling, but feel free to set a limit. I will allow myself to cry/feel sad/angry for 15 minutes…..over night….24 hours…)I focus on one positive thing that I have going on that day, or in general in my life. And then I begin to say how lucky I really am. Really lucky. I have been given this gift of this day. This day to look at the people I love or to speak with them on the phone. This day to nourish my body with good food and to build it to be stronger and healthier. This day to tell someone I love them. This day to write down words on paper that I feel in my heart, to hopefully help another.

I know that we all know…

We have just one life. One great and glorious life. We need to fill it with people, experiences, feelings that will transcend the boring of every day. We must dig deep and find the resiliency that resides in each of us, and to pass it forward. And, I guess while we are sitting and wallowing and reframing, a quick look at the very issue that has our undies in a bunch, just to make sure that very thing isn’t a blessing in disguise, an unexpected gift that could be the very best gift of all.

But, right now, I must admit, I am excited to return to the farm tomorrow to drink from the cup of life…my new french press!